obstacles, expectations, and writing for myself

a garden scene (slowly slowly things are coming together)

I recorded this voice-note after feeling entirely stuck and fed up with my approach to writing, and while I suspect my relationship to this craft will always be up and down, I am determined to create less obstacles between us (meaning: to write for myself again, something I used to do all the time but now cannot seem to stop overthinking—I talk about this more in the above voice-note).

The obstacles I create are what I consider to be a (somewhat camouflaged) procrastination technique. A way to stall the inevitable: whatever I write may fall short, not feel like enough, be untidy and unruly and all over the place and not at all like how I had initially planned it to be.

And I want to be ok with that. With the wobbly and unruly sides to having a creative practice of any kind. I don’t want to be afraid of the pivot. Like right now! I’m writing because I wanted to write and I’m decidedly not going back to edit and re-edit and obsess over details that are not important to anyone but myself (not that there’s anything wrong with it, but the point of this library is to be more candid and casual, so here I am, attempting to do just that.

Because ultimately, I want to be more relaxed in my approach to my own personal writing projects—to write because I want to not because I tell myself I have to. And I know this will take time and effort and many ups and downs, but it feels worth it when I think about the alternative: to never write for myself again.

All that (and probably) more in today’s little voice-note.

Talk soon,
Chloe

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